SOUTHERN NAMIBIA

Feral horses mountainous Namibia

Feral horses near Aus

Friendly baker at Solitaire

Namibia desert

Luderitz Grosse bucht beach

SOUTHERN NAMIBIA

Theo peeled the Hoodia plant and we chewed it.  My mouth filled with a liquorice flavoured foam and the more I chewed the more it lathered.  I felt like a rabid dog, drooling at the mouth and the heat was enough to make a person want to strip naked and kill.  I couldn’t swallow the cactus foam but what the heck I had diarrhoea and didn’t have an appetite anyway.  Our freezer couldn’t cope with the heat either and 20 kg of vacuum packed meat started defrosting but quite frankly my dear, I didn’t give a dam.  Cold water and beer was all I wanted.  F.Y.I. they didn’t inspect our truck at Vioolsdrif border post.

We followed the Orange River on the Namibian side for 2 days, stopping every now and then to lie in the luke warm water, clothes and all, to cool off.  The greenery on its banks was a pleasant relief.    We arrived in Luderitz and camped on the beachfront for free with running water, loos, braai spots and best of all it was lovely and cool at the coast.  After living on gallons of water for 2 days, I’ve decided what the heck, I might as well make an effort about my body which has turned to shit, so I’ve started doing toning exercises on the beach.  I feel great and have a new zest for life.  Heck I even feel like going for a jog or a swim or singing at the top of my voice.  I might end up with the body of a wrinkly 16 year old and if I walk around with my arms crossed behind my head, I even have perky boobs - well almost.
After 4 days of relaxing, we headed north towards Walvis Bay along the gravel road which was 800 km through the desert.  The mountainous landscape is spectacular.  You drive over one mountain range only to find another one stretched out in the distance from east to west as far you can see. They range from purple to pink to brown and rocky and some seem as though they are fixed to the earth in a sea of mist from the mirage created by the shimmering heat.  Its hot, rainy season now in January (yeeha hardly any other tourists) so we took a fat chance opting for the gravel road, which when dry is in excellent condition but wet and slippery mud could be a different story.  The map showed towns about every 200 km so initially I didn’t know what all the hooha was about to make sure you are prepared for the desert.  We soon discovered that places like Beta, Helmeringhausen, Sesriem and Solitaire, all indicated on the map, aren’t towns but rather just a fuel stop and shop selling essentials like expensive cold beer and offered overnight facilities.  The friendly people all speak Afrikaans which made me feel quite at home as apposed to being in a foreign country and Theo fell in love with the jolly baker at Solitaire selling seed bread and delicious confectionary.    We passed about 6 cars the whole 800 km’s, and yes if you get caught in the desert without water or have an accident, you definitely could die.  Our cell phone doesn’t work out here but we do have a ship to shore radio although I don’t know how it works yet so if Theo does have a heart attack from all the chilli bites which he made from the excess of potjiekos meat which bounced around in the caravan drying on a rack as we headed north, I’ll have to dig into the recesses of my brain to recall the first aid taught to us a year ago. 
You don’t see much life except lots of Springbok and Gemsbok which have adapted to the harsh environment by being able to survive at body temperatures 5 degrees higher than normal without frying their brains.  Near Aus, we saw 100 or so skinny feral horses who had survived the tough dry winter and we passed surprisingly green beef and sheep farms where it had recently rained.  Further north we saw a few harems of Zebras nibbling on small tufts of grass, sprouted from recent rains but mostly we drove through dry gravelly landscape, beautiful to look at but difficult to survive in.  I was reminded of the koue bokkeveld back home in SA except this was on a much bigger scale.
We arrived in Walvis Bay and walked the town which had all the same franchise shops as in SA and where everyone used rands and spoke Afrikaans.  We searched for a bar and drank cold draught on tap and of course the mandatory Jugermeister. 
Tomorrow is another day to tackle my non existent six pack and perky boobs on the miles and miles of beachfront stretched out before me.             

Diamonds are Forever

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

And so is the destruction in its wake.

We are back in Kleinzee and looking forward to sitting vas here in the small town with a big drinking problem and a small mining problem. After exploring the surrounding area including a bit of the Rigtersveld Park we were keen to start working at the Crazy Crayfish restaurant and meet the local yocals. The road between Alexander Bay and Port Nolloth was quiet so I had my first driving lesson. Yeehaa – now I’ve driven the truck
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All I can say about Alexander Bay is that it’s wedged in the most north western hoekie of South Africa where the Orange River empties into the ocean. It’s not really a town, but rather a dusty bland vaal sandy place where diamond mining has drastically devastated hundreds of km’s of the coastline and eliminated all signs of plant life leaving mounds of barren dunes with buggerall nutrients. By now I imagine you’ve realised I’m not keen on diamonds. In fact that’s probably why Theo married me, not because I’m clever, sexy, funny, or humble but because I don’t require expensive shiny jewellery in exchange for sex. Oh yes, did I mention that I’ve finally driven the truck
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We travelled east following the Orange River as it wound its way through the dry arid desert hoping to find a place to stop and do some fishing. It’s difficult to distinguish between some of the bare natural koppies in the dessert and the koppies created by piles and piles of gravel deposited by diamond mining even within the Rigtersveld National Park at the Sendlingsdrift area. We camped at Potjiespram and walked along the Orange River filling our pockets with more stones to add to our collection. Even Theo is hooked now and has a packet full of unpolished tigers eye. I’m not sure what the point is of driving around with a box full of stones on the back of the truck but we can’t seem to stop picking them up. So yes, I have driven the truck and it rocks!

The dry heat sucked out any speck of moisture or sweat before it had a chance to escape my pores and my dusty skin felt like the dry scales of a snake. The scenery of nothingness against a backdrop of majestic blue mountains creates its own unsurpassed beauty which had such a relaxing effect on me that I barely noticed my dried out nostrils, burning eyeballs or crevices in my heels. We were only about 100km into the Rigtersveld Park, so I wondered what the real desert in Namibia would be like. Yikes. We’ve decided we will wait for winter before we cross the border
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On our way back near Wondergat, a natural sinkhole in the rocks where the Namas believe a giant snake spirit lives, we came across a little oasis at a dried up riverbed. Someone lived there in a plastic covered maatjies hut with his own little camped off veggie garden so we sommer stopped there overnight. I was hoping to meet the owner but he was nowhere to be found. We assumed he was a herder judging by the amount of drolletjies around, and had probably moved his goats in search of better grazing grounds in the harsh environment. I felt like an intruder peeping through his makeshift door at some of his worldly possessions, a dented pot or two on a little wooden shelf, a chair and his neatly made up bed. It seemed that he expected to find everything as he had left it when he returned months later, even his veggie garden seemed to be doing ok on its own. I wondered if he had asked Heitsi Eibib, the snake spirit to watch over his stuff while he journeyed on foot across the desert. According to Nama legend the snake spirit sometimes appears as an irresistible young maiden and lures men into its deep black hole to devour them. Perhaps he had got lonely and had finally succumbed to the deceptive spirit. Either way, I respected his space for the 2 days which we hung around there and I didn’t wander across to the big black hole.

Food for thought – I wonder if a spirit guarding your stuff wouldn’t be more effective than SAPS?!?
PS. I’ve driven the truck and I’ts awesome!
Vas - tight
hoekie - corner
vaal - bland
Koppies – hills
Maatjies – traditional reed ma
Sommer – just (what the hell, if not why not)
Drolletjies - poop