Thursday, September 20, 2012

Fowl Play

Fowl Play




Picture this, Transkei, 1948, a peaceful day in the hills of Qolora. Well today its 2012 and not a thing has changed except that Theo and I are in the picture. Us and our chickens.

Lately I’ve been feeling quite sorry for the two little hens as they have to tolerate the rooster who constantly tries to jump them. He carries on like a teenager at a free for all rompus with the chicks. He has not yet learnt to be a gentleman but his focus these days is to either jump the hens who flee in fear or he practices his favourite pass time - crowing. Last week he forgot how to crow properly (what with his mind preoccupied with tail feathers) and his half hearted one liner cock a doodle doo trailed off so pitifully that the hens gave him a disdainful smirk and the neighbours’ rooster didn’t even bother answering his pathetic call. Maybe his testicles dropped or something. I don’t know what goes on under all those feathers but I suspect his goonies to be in the same position as an elephants’ - internal. Just rather different sizes. Ever heard of elephant peertjies as a starter? Nor have I, but I digress.

This week the poor fowl had a most frightening experience. There they were, minding their own business, pecking at the grass, and keeping a beady eye on the rondaval door in case anything edible gets thrown out with the dishwater. The next moment we heard the rooster squawking like mad and he came running home like a bat out of hell, his little road runner legs flying over cow dung landmines and his flappy red mohawk thingie plastered flat against his head. His beak was stretched wide open and his tongue beating against his cheek. Well ok, he was frightened. Theo rushed out, grabbed the whip (the same one which he used to defend himself against the one eyed Cyclops) and dashed towards the commotion. One hen came rushing towards him at a frantic pace screeching in alarm while a flock of swallows who live in the neighbouring rondavel roof were mobbing a bush, sweeping low again and again. Theo cracked his whip around his head as he raced towards the bush to investigate. A buzzard had the other poor little hen in its clutches, pinned to the ground and her life was about to be extinguished. Theo managed to chase it off and the bloodied chicken escaped and ran off to hide. The other hen frantically dashed around like a headless chicken while the rooster made it back to the container where he hid in fear. The frustrated buzzard circled overhead while Theo whipped at the air, protecting his potential egg factory like a madman. Anyone passing would have mistaken him for a crazy lunatic herding his mixed avian flock.

The chickens survived their ordeal but these days they duck whenever a bird flies overhead. These days the rooster has a much more confident crow, except the 2am one which sounds like he might be sleep crowing and which keeps me awake as I lie listening to hear whether his opponent over the hill responds. He has learnt to protect his females as he chaperones them around the field and even calls them when he finds food.

I wish I knew what he and the neighbours rooster continually call to each other. Could it be “hey buddy I’m still around and this is my bit of fluff so don’t even think of coming down that hill”, or is it a more friendly “hey buddy, you still there, any danger your side at the ok corral? Or is it just howdy doody? Guess I’ll never know the answer.



Fowl, Qolora, chickens, hens, Rooster, chicks, crowing, cock a doodle doo, testicles, egg

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