KLEINZEE NEXT TO THE BIG C

KLEINZEE NEXT TO THE BIG C
We zoomed through busy Springbok asap. We grabbed a bunch of brochures to email our CV’s to guesthouses in hopes of getting a job since our cash was running low, and then we headed into the wild wild west. Theo’s homemade Bokkoms no longer hung at the back of the truck so someone might have got smacked with a flying dead fish on the N7 somewhere between Bitterfontein and Springbok or alternatively we probably had a lot of people confused about road kill in the Namakwaland as 15 fish lay scattered across the tarmac amongst the odd Springbokkie and Bat Eared Fox.
We made a quick stop at the Namakwa National park but I’m afraid to say that all that stood out for me (it was only a 2 hour stop for a little walk about) was their goat biltong which was very tasty. Ja you see a lot of donkeys, goats and dassies out here between the rocks, fynbos and the succulents. The only big 5 is our vyfman Namakwaland doos wyn. You could find Veldkool (Trachyandra cilliata), which grows wild and can be cooked as you would green beans although they look like asparagus heads. That and suurvye (Carpobrotus edulis) (which are lekker to suck when they are nearly dry) are the only edible plants which I’m familiar with out here. I’m still saving the Hoodia gordonii for later – a bit like end of the month crackers.
Our gas bottle ran out on the way to Kleinzee which is 100 km from Springbok so once again we had to work our way through the contents of the freezer. Luckily the funny smelling pork chops or chicken had no side effects. We pickled a lot of the mussels and Theo made crumbed mussels twice a day and devine mussel soup.

Kleinzee is owned by De Beers so you have to get a permit to stay overnight and show your ID at the gates to the town. This is diamond country and they are big on security even though De Beers has sort of finished mining and are now rehabilitating the area. Anyway we had to pay for accommodation for the first time in almost a month since leaving Cape Town but you can’t just sommer stop along the roadside once you enter the area owned by De Beers.
We arranged to stay at Kleinzee caravan park for 2 days and within hours of meeting Charles, owner of the small caravan park and yes another friendly west coast local, he and Theo got chatting over a slet sap (better known as a brutal fruit to everyone else) and next thing we had a job. Turns out Charles needs someone to help him run his restaurant called the Crazy Crayfish since he was off to build a oil rig in some or other African country where the money is good. He is going to arrange a house for us to rent in the deserted Kleinzee mining village.
The small kitchen and busy bar accommodates the 30 locals and apparently lots of 4x4 tourists, surfers and divers who pass through.
Charles doesn’t beat around with words and either calls a spade a spade or a naai. He has a gentle refined side as well since besides being married to a very nice English woman, every night he comes down to the caravan park to tumble dry the cat”s blanket to make sure Asblik sleeps warmly in his cat tree house. Last night he brought us and his friend Jakes each a Gemsbok liver the size of a soccer ball. We might spend a few days with Jakes, who also happens to be a missionary and a very keen fisherman on the Orange River. Sounds like he has been around the block and most of Africa since he has been a builder, a bouncer and after hearing about his drunken past, quite a boxer. He used to think the worm in the bottom of a Tequila bottle was for girls so he and die manne used a scorpion or even a Puff Adder instead.
We will go back to help Charles at the Cazy Crayfish in October but in the meantime we want to explore Port Nolloth where the real diamond cowboys are at and then next week hopefully off to the Orange River with Jakes and his Bible.

Footnote: If you made rollmops as per my previous blog they will flop since I forgot to mention you should salt your bokkom fillets first and you might want to water your vinegar down a bit.

Bokkoms – dried fish, salty as hell, best eaten with a cold beer
Dassie – Hyrax (the biggest, common, most spotted mammal in the Cape)
vyfman Namaqualand doos wyn – 5 Litre box wine
lekker - yummy
Sommer – just like that, If not why not
slet sap – slut juice
naai – f*cker, idiot, arsehole – depends on your mood or how much slet sap you’ve had
die manne – the tough guys